Sunday, July 26, 2009

Shakira- She Wolf

My Hips don't lie my ass, i LOVE Shakira's latest song. She Wolf is it? She wolf is the hotness.
oooh gurl i love it! Let's sing bitches:

"There's a she wolf in the closet
Open up and set it free
There's a she wolf in the closet
Let it out so it can breathe

Sitting across a bar staring right at her prey
It's going well so far she's gonna get her way
Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent
The moons my teacher and i'm her student

To locate the single men I got on me a special radar
And the fire department hotline in case i get in trouble later
Not looking for cute little divos or rich city guys I just want to enjoy
By having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy"

Don't we ALL wanna behave very bad in the arms of a boy? With cocks here and there?
UGH if i start hearing this song on all those "i'm a britney/lady gaga/katy perry/beyonce fan" fags that wear those fringy scarves and think they're cute and pretend to be closeted on myspace, i'm soooo gonnna slap a bitch. ugh.

Friday, July 24, 2009

OMFG Jourdan Dunn is PREGNANT!!!

I seriously thought this was just a rumor by some twat(Chanel iman, is that you?), but NO. Homegurl is in FACT pregnant. No No No No NO!
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oh the saddening news from Fashionologie:
">> Jourdan Dunn is Pregnant —The sudden surge of pregnant models keeps growing: 18-year-old Jourdan Dunn is confirmed to be pregnant and due in December.  Sessilee Lopez commented on The Fashion Spot, implying that Jourdan, like Karolina Kurkova, is expecting a boy: "Everyone is so excited and can't wait to welcome him into the world!!!!" Jourdan walked the Strenesse Blue runway during Berlin Fashion Week a couple of weeks ago (left), but it seems unlikely that she would walk during the upcoming Spring 2010 season this Fall.   [Vogue DailyTFS]"

So, she was born August 3 1990. 19 and preggers? oh my my! oh she'd make all the ghetto gurls in compton proud no? Nothing says chic in da hood then getting preggers early! omfg maybe oh maybe she should give those fat cows on that MTV show "16 and pregnant" and run for their money! ugh stupid bitch....I mean look if i was you Jourdan, i'd live my life to the fullest. I mean your probably at one of the most cherished moments of your life walking runways from Prada to Chanel to Fendi to Christopher Kane to Alexander Mcqueen to blah blah and yet you fucked it all up. Ugh i mean if were you gurl, i'd be fucking every male model backstage with cock galore here and there, snorting cocaine, being a bitch, tripping this bitch here and there, doing ad campaigns, going to parties, crashing parties, drug scandals, editorials,  blah blah and THEN I'd get pregnant. Think like late 20's or think Carmen Kass's sexy age of when to have kids. Well folks, time to say bye bye to the thinspirational body...
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ugh, i LOVE her body you whores, the fucking thinspirational body! The legs! the arms! bye bye sticks and bones, hello stretch marks galore!
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Fuck that, you Chanel Iman, yes YOU honey, are my newest fave black thinspirational model. Dont' be too overwelmed. You see being one of my fave thinspirational models is an honor but don't get too carried away. Your "omfg i'm tony's thinspo bitch" will expire once Jourdan is back on the runways k. LOL.
Well we all know next year's trends for sure. Next years trends for Jourdan are babydoll dresses from vintage Chloe, sweats from Alexander Wang and Juicy Couture, stretch marks from own, and mcdonalds with a cig here and there. Well let's forget the negatives for a bit and let's think of the positives..OOOh Chanel Iman this is your time to shine gurl! I mean HELLO Prada's and Chanel's main token black gurl is obviously gonna be gone, this is your time to take that motherfucking spot honey. Well...you and Sessilee can battle it out so whatever.
but in all...
ugh how could you Jourdan?!?!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Fuck that, i need a little dazzle here and there

well let' do a quick rant..
good gracious...now don't i look like the perfect sunset whore? I mean HELLO! I'm 16, perfect fucking jailbait! haha. Actually forget the vanity, i've been feeling sooooo ugly. My skin has been looking like shit lately. Maybe oh maybe it's karma part dos cause i look at one of my friend's myspace pictures and think "bitch photoshops his face". ugh i mean it's especially my forehead that's getting me annoyed. I mean zits. motherfucking zits. I mean i shouldn't bitch cause there'll be days where i'll use my neutogena one day and then the next day i won't cause i'm being lazy and then the whole pattern continues like that so it's kinda my fault but i'm DEFITANELY going to use it daily.
anywhoo...
sooo what do yo do when your outfit is so boring? I think i've been toooo inspired by this bet i made with my friend to dress "straight" just to get some action but fuck that. I SOOO need to get into my fashion zone and style, style, style! So what do you do when your outfit is down to tees and shorts? you motherfucking accessorize. DUH!
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Shirt and shorts by American Apparel, bag by H&M, shoes by Lacoste, leopard bracelet from Marc By Marc Jacobs, studded bracelet from some cheap stand in good old trusty Mexico, and glasses from this bitch i know. ok fiinnnee.......my brother gave them to me. lol oh and let's not forget my sequined scarf HELLO! scarf from Charlotte Russe or whatever that store is in the mall.

fucking fuck, American Apparel should SOOOO hire me as their marketing bitch. I mean cmon i bought a shitload of things from them the day before yesterday and wahla! i wore what i bought yesterday. Now that's a true fan. haha. btw i hate shopping on a budget. I swear, if i could,i would've bought this sparkly jacket, this sheer blouse, more tank tops, some basic black leggings and some gold ones but noooo i only bought some things. ugh.

more to come...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

SOLD OUT! omfg....

fucking cunts! Why oh why oh why do bad things happen to me? Looks like this bag i've been eyeing and wanting to buy on topshop is like out. OUT. OUT. motherfucking OUT!
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Sold out honey.
 SOLD OUT.
ugh.....you know and it was only 70 bucks and it was blue and pretty and nice and oh so me you know.
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i mean why do bad things like this happen to me? I mean is it karma for like making fun of this girl at school the other day who had like GINORMOUS teeth that looked like extinct stones you know..ugh whatever i doubt it's cause of that. bitch needs fucking dental help. ugh LOVED the shape and color...
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oooh it even has a long strap....
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blah blah blah....
fuck that. Let's just do a fucking H&M bag. no?
I swear that motherfucking bag would look soooooo fucking fierce on me. HELLO i'd sooo max it out to it's full potential..even with tears and marks and all...

Plans? what fucking plans?

ugh my plans were sooo like 5 hours ago. I mean don't you hate when you have plans and then all of a sudden you get the "let's do it some other day" and the "i can't today" from your friends? ugh I made plans to do shopping on sunset and then the club DANCE at the arena but noooo dumb whore couldn't. ugh. Well let's start with what i did after school.......Calorific galore much? Ugh there's nothing better than having an iced caramel machiatto on an afternoon after an oh so rough day at school. And because i'm such a fatass and need my vitamins, why not add a lemon loaf no?
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Say hello to breakfast, lunch, and dinner up there.
but now back to my annoying day....I even cancelled on my other friends. I could be at my friends house which she invited me to pig out and chill with a couple of her friends and blah but i didn't feel like up to it. I even was ready for sunset but after not going i got sooo lazy and stayed in watching tv. haha. Plus, i wanted to go to american apparel and steal loads of things! just kidding bitch, no, i want tank tops motherfuckers...and some sheer tops for layering but my plans for that got screwed over. 
ugh sidenote for myself: fucking find a way to go to american apparel. Fucking fuck....car, train, hitchhiking, i don't give a fuck how but i must.
well cheers, here's to studying the rest of the day. ugh...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Where's the fucking meth addiction when you need it most?

Where's the fucking meth addiction when you need it the most no? oh wait...HELLO i've always dreamt of having drug issues in my early 20's while maintaining the figure of a 16 year old and wearing lanvin and marni. haha. oh gawd...fucking help me i just ate like a bunch of these vanilla cup things i found in my refrigerator. Ugh they're sooooooo goood.
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There's even chocolate ones i found. You know me, i like dark chocolate...if you know what i mean.
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oy vey. Fuck this and the tommies fries i ate today, all i'm eating for the rest of the day is an iced coffee drink and some cigarettes before i go the movies later.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sasha P at Chanel Haute Couture F/W09

WERQ! And this my friends is why i love some other models than others. ugh the dress! the stare! Fierce no?
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thinspirational hotness indeed. I swear this dress is the hotness.
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Hands on hips and walk it out...
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Loves it. Reason numero 24823982 why I soo want to die wearing Chanel. Especially a Chanel Haute Couture dress HELLO!. btw that wedding dress on Lara Stone at the end of the show was BAD. ugh the length..the hair... eww eww eww. It was like trailer trash meets 80's meets whatever but it was bad on soo many levels. Everything else was stunning. Besides Sasha i thought Sigrid, Charlotte, Vlada, Siri, Yulia, Snejana (ofcourse) and Abbey worked it out the most. Loves it. Don't you?

Loves ya!

Christian Dior Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2009

Sure everybody is saying John Galliano's latest collection is somewhat boring/we've seen it before/ boring/blah blah, which I totally agree, but i mean it's gorgeous. The gowns. the poses. the models. the inspiration. the music. It's defitanely coture. omfg you defitnaley soooooooooo have to see the video of the show....pure couture. Eye candy orgy? Idk about you, but if it werent' for the whole presentation, as in the music and posing, i soo wouldn't love it. But whatever, were alll fashion obsessed whores so let's get goin with the clothes and models. First up:Thana Kuhnen. I loved her look. Bitch worked it liked a motherfucking veteran down the steps in the video and her posing was flawless and she's barely new to the scene. I mean what..she walked a couple shows before and now she opened Dior Couture. I smell money and fucking shows in the future no? i'm goood at these things...i know it. Slap me if i'm wrong........flawless much......
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work that jacket god damnit..
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can you say fierce? Love love love love. i really LOVE her look. 
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Next look..... I LOVE THIS!! STUNNING dress. I fucking need it. forget crack and meth, i sooo need this.
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Work it honey. practice makes perfect. ugh... love....
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ooooh sooo pretty. Look at those details. Stunning? i know right!
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ugh loves it..
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oh ma gawd it's Kasia Struss motherfuckers. I kinda like her yellow jacket. hate the hair on her though..
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Hey look guys, it's everybodys favorite thinspirational british girl Lily Donaldson.
NOT!
Meet Alexandra Tretter. Girlfriend looks a LOT like lily donaldson. no? ugh love her look too. I mean a pink suit with a corset on top? loves it..
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I fucking kid you not when i say that she looks alot like lily donaldson. Especially right here....
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ooooh la la. I actually love the looks with the lingerie/under garment pieces to them. I mean think about it. I gives it a little fun compared to the boring silhouettes and pieces that i'm pretty sure we've all seen before at a dior collection before you know. Love this look. 
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get the fuck out of her way ya'll. fierce, sexy, chic, blah blah. Peasants ALWAYS need to lend a hand...
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Well hello there ginger. I bet you a fucking dildo that somehow either this picuture or some other one from a recent show Vlada's done is gonna show up at the model weight thread at the fashion spot cause we all know those whores over there LOVE Vlada right? haha. bitch screams pure couture...
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fuck that, bitch is thinspirational. Plus, i mean she's gained a couple. Can't we all be happy now? peace please? Homegurl can't help it if she's thin and fierce....okay
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fierce....
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omfg i can't help but laugh at this picture of Iekeliene below. It's only this picture below that cracks me up. Idk why....maybe the face? the makeup? the makeup with the hair? ANWAYS......
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i love her look. I mean pastel purple? gorgeous.
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FOR ONCE Iekeliene has some nice looking calfs in a picture. Aww...it's your lucky day honey. oooooh love her bag.
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Holy shit it's Trentini. headache much? hah no, bitch worked it..
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telekenetic powers activate? haha...
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Love the combo of the creamy khaki with the yellow. However, i'm not really loving the shape of the jacket.
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But the posing sure makes me love it. 
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And now one of my faves....Siri Tollerod. Who knew the frigid walking bitch could actually pose!
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She looked sooooooooooo pretty at the show but then again she always does.
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oh that face! that skin! that expression!
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gawd i fucking love siri tollerod. Well lookey who we have here...Anabela Belikova. Like i always say, if i could have any model's legs, it would certainly be Anabela's. Love her look. Orange is your color gurl. love the top..
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omfg look it's every black/latina's favorite high fashion model Chanel Iman! LOVE the closeup.
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oooooh love magdalena's outfit. Bitch was a good show pony and worked it...
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WERQ that motherfucking wall Magdalena. WERQ! WERQ it like you've been deprived of  sex for 10 years and there's a hunky russian son of a bitch waiting on the other side of that wall.
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I'm officially a Heidi Mount fan. Look at her hand! her pose! her stare! her dress! her face! love love love! It's all about the snap ya'll...
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Booooo kim noorda. Ok, i LOVE kim noorda but she's sooo underrated. Her dress was boring so i mean she could've ooomphed it up a bit here and there you know by posing but no, she posed a bit here and there. ugh.
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let's not forget sasha. Idk her suit seems typical but i'm somewhat liking it...
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it looks soo chic.
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second favorite dress here we come. oh all that pink!
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THIS is how you smile with your eyes...
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HELLO you can't have a dior haute couture collection without georgina. I kinda like her dress but it's the stupid space in the middle that's annoying me.
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LOVE natasha's dress. look at all those ruffles.
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LOVED this gown...
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But my favorite gown of them all has to be this one on Viviane Orth, who btw was one of my favorites at the show. Girlfriend is pure couture worthy.
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She's soooo my new thinspiration....
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omfg Charlotte Di Calypso closed the show! LOVE this bitch. She looks stunning....
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ugh i feel sooo fat...
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oh and wtf was morgane dulbed wearing? I dream of genie much?
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overall it's ok. Not John's best collection, that's for sure, but it's gorgeous nonetheless. Were doing chanel next you whores.
love ya!