Saturday, April 17, 2010

Everybody is at damn Coachella but me. FML.

While everyone is plastered and drunk as a skunk and switching bodily fluids at Coachella (yes, can't you tell by now how bad I wanted to go!), I just realized it ain't Paris la exotic Hilton that's only there. EVERYONE is there. If you ain't there, your just some kid like me who ain't got to way to back him up to go and is stuck in this little ol country or you're some deadbeat papi chulo who isn't willing to spend 300+ smackaroos down at that bitch. Well lookey who was there...Kate Boswarth and *GASP* Alexander Skarsgard! That hoodrat! She's stealing my boo right in front of my eyes! ugh. Major ugh.
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Well I kinda love her ensemble...a little slutty, a little missoni ss10, a little yeahaw down there, but it all works together. If Alexander approves, I do.
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Chanel's Finest Lily Allen was there. Gotta love this slut. Just gotta love her. Oooooh homegurl is pulling the finest hipster outfit I've seen since....ever.
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let's now get classy and a sassy with Kelly Osbourne & her boo Luke "i secretly love peen" Worral. I love her dress. I love her glasses. I love her bag (is it Chanel, mija?). I love her shoes (bitch was raiding some of my hipster friends's closets for them, huh?). Fuckery fuck, I love this bitch's ensemble. 5 stars skank, five stars.
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John "I fuck every breathing vagina there is" Mayer was there canoodling with Ricki Lake's long lost sister..
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Beyonce's other sibling (Solange is it? I just remember that bitch from some Logo performance or somethin) was there wearing a crop that I would've purchases at American Apparel...Great minds think alike!! now take that damn black devil horns off of your head, you know dah!
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Peaches and her I-cant-tell-if-he's-hot-or-kinda-perv-looking-boyfriend....
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And everyone's salivating worthy celeb, Danny Devito!
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Well anyone who's anyone is there. I swear, If I was there, i'd be getting my pipes cleaned out (tall, dark, and handsome, and rugged) and getting my dance on but noooooooo....I'm home watching Hilary Duff wearing some Prada ss08 dress on ABC Family in some movie where she can't get a man (oooh gurl, we DO have shit in common!). ugh, for sure for sure next year.

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